Family Travel: How to Be a Better Listener (Start on Your Family Getaway!)

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Family Travel: How to Be a Better Listener (Start on Your Family Getaway!)

Kathryn Gardner • October 31, 2022

Family Travel: How to Be a Better Listener (Start on Your Family Getaway!)

Disclosure: Amazon Affiliate Program links are included in this article. If you purchase the item, there is no increase in the price. Thank you for supporting Tranquility Moms - we appreciate you!

We were sitting in the airport waiting for our flight, when my son leaned over to ask about the basketball team on our plane. The group of athletes were dressed in their team attire and all carrying the same duffle bag. He asked me if they were a family going somewhere. I explained who they were and clues that helped me to know that answer. He is so curious and I want to encourage him to explore and use clues to learn about his world.

I don’t always take the time to do this though. Too many times, I am rushed and hush the kids or give a one word answer to their curious questions. I get annoyed at the rounds and rounds of questioning. Or I interrupt them with the demand for the next thing, “I don’t know how that got cold…go brush your teeth!”

This isn’t in line with how I want to raise them. I want them to observe and be inquisitive, but my mom-timewatch is always ticking and telling me what we are doing next. I am not in this moment, my mind is racing to the things ahead.

When we travel, I want my mom-mind to be more calm and to be able to pause and give my child my undivided attention. I want to feel closer to them and have great conversations. (Check out my blog post about 5 Questions to Bring You Closer to Your Children on Vacation)

I truly believe vacation is your chance to RESET the family. Leaving all the stress at home, you have a chance to travel, be in God’s beautiful nature and connect more deeply as a family. A connected family is defined as one that supports one another, able to communicate and listen openly and continue to enhance one another. Famlii.com states “Every family member should feel understood, loved, wanted and paid attention to in order to create caring and consistent emotional bonds between parent-child and spouses/partners.”

One of the greatest ways you can pay more attention to one another is by being a better listener. You know when someone is being a good listener to you - eye contact, body language and the way they reply. You feel heard. You feel understood. You feel cared about. This is what I want for your family on this trip. Whatever habits you begin here, can be long lasting back at home and strengthen your family for all of the ups and downs.

Benefits to being a parent who listens well:

Your child will feel more loved
Your child will feel more understood
Your child will build trust in you
Your child will open up to you in really difficult situations

"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen,

slow to speak and slow to get angry." - James 1:19

Here are 5 ways to be a better listener to your children:

Pause

Kids love to interrupt whatever we are doing or saying. It is important to teach them manners and also to return to them when you are indeed free. Give them clear eye contact. Come down to their level. Touch their shoulder as they are talking. Nod your head as an intentional listener. Avoid your phone or other distractions.

Repeat What You Heard

Kids use words and feeling vocabulary that makes sense to them. As they share with you - about the color of a flower or about their hurts from a friend, repeat back to them with their terms. For example, your son is mad and tells you, “I’m so frustrated. I am so bored!” Ask him, “It is frustrating to wait in line for 30 extra minutes. What can we do so we don’t feel bored?”

Ask Questions

It is so important to validate the feeling words of what our child is sharing. It is vulnerable for them to trust us with those feelings and open up. As they talk, ask more questions. See where the topic goes. Clarify what they experienced and how it made them feel. Ask them what they did well or what they would do differently next time.

Be Curious

On vacation, we have so many new experiences and new things to see. If your child is sitting next to you on the bus and starts chatting about something they see, extend the topic. Pull out questions that expand what they know and what questions they may have. For example, if you are driving through a crowded area in Washington DC, ask them what they think are the roles of each of these people walking. How do these people help others?

Avoid Being the Expert

A crucial part of being a better listener is to not interject your own thoughts and feelings too quickly. A child will shut down and pull back if you do. Children know that you know more. They already see that you have more experiences - in travel, in relationships, in struggles and in successes. Allow your child to talk openly and avoid being a Know It All.

Looking for more tips on being a better listener! Here’s a book on Amazon Be a Better Listener

If you want to do less arguing with your spouse on the trip, check out my YouTube video Communication Tips for Family Travel

Each getaway is a chance to be a better you and start the next chapter for your family to feel happier and healthier.

Upcoming book in 2022 by Kathryn Gardner ~ Find Tranquility on Your Family Trip: Rest, Recharge and Connect. Plus 100 Christian Family Travel Activities

So glad you are on this journey with me to go from stressed to refreshed! Find your tranquility today!

Be well and God bless,

Coach Kathy

Kathryn Gardner, mom of 2, police wife, and Family Therapist specializing in the well-being of moms & Certified Health Coach moved with her family to Tampa, FL to be near the ocean and explore the health benefits of nature. Her passion is helping stressed moms find tranquility! Check out TranquilityMoms.com for the latest blog post and YouTube video. She posts encouraging messages on Instagram and Facebook.